Saturday, November 17, 2012

Here is my heart. Take and seal it.

My favourite song today. Can't stop listening and loving every second. Just need to finish this paper now. Yiekes. 

Thursday, November 15, 2012

Almost There

This is my "hell" week. That's a slang phrase us, college kids use to describe the worst week to be alive as a student, ever. Whether it's 4 midterms within 5 days, papers, presentations, meetings, quizzes, readings, it all gets piled into that "hell" week. Everyone's is different, for the most part at least. I mean how would the world cope if it all happened in one or two weeks (oh wait...exams?!).

Anyways, I have 4 papers due this week, a 50 minute presentation, meetings, work and all the rest of that stuff we call life. But, it wasn't so bad this go around. I'm sitting pretty with 3 papers completed and rocked the presentation. With only one paper left to start and finish in the next three days, I'm feeling pretty great (we'll have to wait and see about marks but even that thought can't hold me down....too much).

That means that I've completed all my semester work and have 2 weeks until exams start. What am I possibly going to do during this time you ask?! Oh, you know, just figure out my life and start applying to grad schools. No big deal or anything. All kidding aside, it's nice that I'll actually get some downtime to get these things done, talk to references and sort everything out. (AH I HAVE TO PICK UP MY TRANSCRIPTS TODAY TOO). Oh boy.

And with the closing of my "hell" week, with my last paper due on Sunday at midnight, I get to visit my first choice school with my dad (an alumni there) on Monday. How fitting how this is all playing out, don't you say? I don't think I've ever been so positive throughout such a week before. It's a strange feeling, and maybe that strange feeling I've been having all semester is that I'm actually getting it. School is actually sinking in and I can cope and succeed. It only took, you know, about 16 years of education but here I am! Only two more weeks of class, 2 weeks of exams and my LAST semester will start. My last 4 months at  a school that shaped me into who I am today. The last courses I will get to take.

Yesterday I was joking with my friend, Jake that this would be "the last November 14th we spend together, ever!" What a scary thought. These are the last days I'll get to spend with some of the most amazing people I've met. Change is a wonderful, scary, awesome thing.

Friday, November 2, 2012

Here we are, here we go

In an hour I will be taking my graduation photos.

Does this mean it's really happening? I really have to leave this place in a few months? I have to know where I am going, have a plan. I don't want to be a nomad. I like plans.

Am I ready for this? Of course, I've never not been ready. I need that change. To take everything and make a new start, a new beginning. I mean how many of these do we get in one lifetime. It's pretty amazing.

So here I go. Going to spend lunch with my best girl friends. Smile together in our gowns and hoods and take those memories with me forever.

Thursday, November 1, 2012

Casual Conversations

Me: "So the hurricane ruptured a tank and spilt 300,000 gallons of diesel in New Jersey. Man, that Sandy is a bitch"

Patricia: "Oh my god, Sandy is a big, fat hoe. I can't believe this"

But in all seriousness...full non-roommate edited version here.

Wednesday, October 31, 2012

To the Boy

Dear birthday boy,

This is the first time, I think ever, we haven't had a chance to spend your birthday or at least the day before, together. It seems strange not to be able to tell you myself, in person, how happy I am to be celebrating another one of your birthdays.

You're 21! And as you pointed out today, we're both the same age now. Something I like to hold above your head for 4 months of the year. But here we are both 21 turning 22 now. Time is flying.

I just want you to know that I appreciate every little thing about you. And hope you have a fun night.



Seven Deadly Sins

Linking up with Shane for an awesome Halloween post. 

seven great things in your life.
1. Chance to go to school.
2. My humour when I get worked up.
3. Friends and family. 
4. Getting a bit better at keeping on eye on the bank account. 
5. Learning what I love and don't love. 
6. Ability to keep my mind open to new things, people, situations. 
7.  Always being able to ask questions. 
seven things you lack and covet.
1. A nice rain coat with a hood.
2. Healthy food, and the time to make AND eat it. 
3. Working out. 
4. Optimism (at least lately).
6. An LSAT score.
7. Make-up skills. 
seven things that make you angry
1. Inconsiderate people. 
2. People who don't try. 
3. Ignorance. 
4. Inequality of every kind. 
5.  People who brag. 
6. A messy room. 
7.  When I get frustrated easily. 
seven things that you neglect to do.
1. Shave. 
2. Read for pleasure. 
3. Blog. (hehe)
4. Cook real meals. 
5.  Stay calm, rationale and reflective. 
6. Count the blessings each day. 
7. Go to bed when I say I will. 
seven worldly material desires.
1. A skin or case for my laptop.
2.  A kitty.
3.  New scarves. 
4.  Leg warmers. 
5. A new book.
6. A trip somewhere outside of this continent
7. Glasses. All the glasses! 
seven guilty pleasures.
1. Chips and dip. 
2. Anything with cheese associated with it. 
3. Watching a season of a show in one day. 
4. Twitter.
5. Buying something new. 
6. Aimlessly surfing the web. 
7. Reading blogs all day long. 
seven things you love about love
1. Being crazy but still being loved. 
2. Being able to send someone those cheesy song lyrics you hear. 
3. Learning to be a better supporter and listener. 
   4. Walking around in my gross clothes, messy hair and still feeling like a million bucks. 
5. Knowing what each other are thinking without saying a word. 
6. Those little arguments. 
7. Still getting butterflies. 

Tuesday, October 30, 2012

This Past Weekend

Friday, Saturday, Sunday (even Monday) were a whirl wind. Friday we celebrated Ryan's 21st birthday. After all the chaos of getting home, getting to the restaurant and getting downtown afterwards, it was one of the best nights I've had in awhile. Maybe that's because I was the only female present and hanging out with all guys is just a different vibe. I wished I took more pictures considering the only one I have from the night is this:

Saturday I spend literally lying around all over the house recovering from the night before, which I haven't experienced in years. YEARS! Cue cry about how old I feel. Mom came home and invited me out to a night at the theatre in London to see the play, Calendar Girls. If you've ever seen the movie of the same name, it's very similar. Did you know that it is based on a true story?! Awesome! I even got a glass of wine at intermission. Cue oldness part two. After the show mom and I went on an ice cream date which was a great way to top off the night. 

Sunday I tried to sleep in but not sleep in because I promised my dad we'd have breakfast together. I managed to pull myself together in time and we grabbed the classic breakfast from a family diner. After that we spent the afternoon together cooped up, watching Suits and me trying to study. If my weekend of amazing treats didn't get any better, we snacked on chips and went to Five Guys for dinner. It's exactly what everyone says it is - disgustingly delicious. You could never go there and get a meal for one though, that's definitely something to be shared. We spent the evening watching Margin Call and Too Big To Fail. And wouldn't you know it, I'm reading The Economist now and actually finding it interesting. Amazing what two motion pictures can do for my knowledge. 

Monday, October 29, 2012

My Twin

I found my twin on Pinterest today. I literally stared at the picture for minutes because it was so eerie. I mean I don't see myself too often from behind but I'm pretty sure it might look like this. Those long fingers. That bun. That pale skin.

Sunday, October 28, 2012


So I haven't been around much lately. Not much at all. And I'm not exactly sure what I can blame it on other than life is around the corner and it's taking a toll on me. I always admired all those upper years who had their lives figured out, they knew exactly where they were going and what they were doing after undergrad. They made it look so effortless. I thought these things would come together, but it seems tougher than that and just because I super aced one midterm, clearly doesn't mean that happened in all of my classes. I quickly felt like everything was falling apart. And I know it isn't - I know it still hasn't. This was not originally meant to be a "downer" of a post, but a welcoming return. So instead I will be reintroducing myself.

My name is Deanna and I'm a student. I am in my last year of my bachelor's degree and I am in love with school, sometimes it's more of a love/hate relationship. But with any other relationships our make-ups are always worth the fights.

I have ambitions and I think they're important at least for me. I don't know of a time when I haven't had a plan for the future. I knew what university I wanted to go to when I was 15. I started researching post-grad options and schools when I was 18.

I love getting dressed. I have been trying to limit the amount of changes I make each morning when deciding what to wear but it's important to me. I'm almost always "dressed up", if I'm more in a loungeish sort of mood than I still try to look somewhat presentable - this could be debatable.

I only ever shower at night, right before bed. As you will see above, I clearly don't have time to shower in the morning when I am busy making multiple costume changes. One day this past year I showered in the morning and it threw everything completely off and I vowed to never do it again.

I'm not sure I believe in "best friends". Who gets to determine who that #1 friend is? I feel like all of my friends bring something different into my life and have taught me so many things, how do you pick one that gets the title?

I believe in honesty. That's about it. When it boils down to it, that's the value I believe in. Friends, family, relationships, religion, life, to me honesty with others and yourself is powerful.

I hate staying up late, and waking up late. I take that back, I can stay up late as long as I am spending those late night hours in my bed. I don't do well in public at nights, I have been known to fall asleep at concerts, bars, and more. When I wake up late, I usually feel like I've wasted the day away and could have accomplished something more if I had just forced myself out of bed.

I'm scared of not living up to people's expectations. And this is scary for me to say finally, but I know there are some more judgmental people out there and people who don't give a care what I do with my life. But the deeper I go and the farther down the road I get, I wonder if I'm doing the right thing, if I'm making people proud.

I want a kitty. And a nice apartment. And just to be honestly, contently happy.

Friday, October 5, 2012

Fall Weekend

I'm back home for thanksgiving weekend now. Feeling uber sick and tired and wishing I could lounge around all day when I remember I have a pretty intense midterm this coming Thursday. Well I do remember that but decided to lounge around either way. Rewarding myself for a great midterm this past Thursday/preparing for a weekend of lots of eating and studying. Can't complain too much about that. 

Mom has been back and forth between the kitchen and the grocery store getting ready for our big dinner tomorrow evening. She's feeding me endlessly. Carrot parsnip cakes, french fies, onion rings, sweet potato curry soup. And this is why nothing compares to the Fall. 

Back to reading about reflexes and circular reactions (Piaget style of course) and watching these puppies bake in preparation for tomorrow's festivities. Mom really wanted me to take a picture of her annual pumpkin cake too but it looks better on a plate so that will have to wait for another time! 

Tuesday, October 2, 2012

October Goals

My goals for this month include: 

~ Regular studying
~ Submitting good applications on time for graduate school
~ Getting to know professors even more 
~ Write in my journal more - being more reflective 
~ Read a little for myself 
~ Budget my money better
~ Wake up early enough each morning to not feel rushed 
~ Always feel prepared 
~ Acknowledge the little things people do and the little things I can do too 
~ More tea, less coffee (lattes obviously don't count) 

Sunday, September 30, 2012

Goodbye, Facebook

There's has been a number of times I talk of how much I dislike Facebook compared to other social networking sites. It's just TOO personal, too in your face. And yes I write a blog about my life, but I get to pick what gets posted, what comments need to be deleted (if any) and from what I am aware of there's no chance of all my person information being leaked because I'm choosing what content I post.

Facebook, to me at least, has been getting scarier now that's it keeps making it easier and easier to access any information you want on someone. They want you to post all of your milestones and memories for every one of your 600+ friends to see. Is this some type of life competition? I was using it more to connect with people, organize meetings, stuff like that. But I can honestly say that I'm just too scared to use it anymore and it just takes so much effort to ensure that information I don't want the world to see is not showing up on my timeline, let alone another person's.

So goodbye, Facebook and hopefully we don't get back together as much as I may miss you in the first few months of the break-up.

Monday, September 24, 2012

Those Life Moments

Ryan came down to Guelph this past weekend. A perfect weekend.

Saturday night we just stayed in, I had a lot of reading to do he had a lot of sports watching to do. Actually we watched a lot of the new show, Newsroom. Perhaps 5 or so episodes. But I won't confess to how many. Okay, it was five.

The night was full of little giggles, full body hysterics, reminiscing, planning, pondering. Sipping on cappuccinos. Eating Kraft Dinner out of the pot because we're poor university students and now is the time to embrace it. Drawing pictures, or doodles.

You always watch those love stories, hear about them. The ones where the music always fits the moment perfectly or everything just seems to fall into place at the exact perfect time? Life will never be a perfect movie or story, but mine's certainly perfect to me. And amazing.

Sunday morning we are struggling to get out of bed. Ryan needs to shower so obviously I throw the covers over my head and try to get those last few minutes of rest I can before my last day of the weekend starts. Ryan comes back into the room and lets me know, as he always politely does, that "lights are now coming on!" and that I either need to man up and pull myself together or tightly shut my eyes in fear of being blinded.

The taxi honked at us within minutes of our call. We rushed out the door, hoping not to wake anyone else up. Our driver was a bit strange. I think all parties felt a bit uncomfortable so he turned on the radio. All I remember are the lyrics, "I fell in love again last night" playing as we drove through the streets of Guelph towards the train station. How perfect, is all I could think to myself.

We have this little tradition. As our train pulls away from the station we text each other "I see you!" and write a nice goodbye. As Ryan boarded the train, I strolled to my bus stop which is conveniently located right outside of the train platform. As I was sitting on my bus back home, Ryan on the train back to his place, I sent the text. And as we said goodbye, we both left in our various transportation methods at the same time, in opposite directions.

Sunday, September 16, 2012

Sunday Confessions


I am a pretty sensitive person, but I've been consciously trying to not let my emotions get the best of me lately. BUT, sometimes I feel like I'm on the complete opposite side and not being my usual emotional self. I'm working on that balance.


I am already way behind my readings. I had some last camp work to do but now that that is mostly complete I can finally start to really focus on school.


I wish I went running. I had this plan to go to the gym, but I'm really not into people staring at me and judging me and I just can't get over that. So the other option is running outside, but doesn't the same thing apply? I think it's different because your constantly moving so the same person isn't watching you for half an hour. But still, I don't do either.


I stole one of those letters off a billboard sign. It was at night and we were walking home (we may or may not have had a few drinks at the restaurant..) and I just really wanted a "D". So I took it and put it in my purse and it sits on the top of my bookshelf now.


I wish I was less scared of the future. Of the changes that are about to happen in a mere few months. I'm really embracing the time I have right now but I'm not going to lie, I'm kind of scared too.

Wednesday, September 12, 2012

Post Secret

If you haven't already heard about the Post Secret movement, then you should! If you want to know the story on how it all started and what it's really about (like I did when I started writing this post) you can find it here. People mail in their secrets on post cards and every Sunday, new secrets are posted for the world to see.

Some of them are so beautiful.

Some are hilarious. 

And others are quite sad, actually. 

But in the Winter of 2011 as part of an English class here at the University of Guelph our own Post Secret movement began. It's a great idea, especially in those college years when there's so much happening, so many changes, experiences. One of my works of art is actually on their site too, but I obviously can't say which one! Have fun trying to decipher which one it could possibly be. 

All images used in this post are from the original Post Secret website found here

Tuesday, September 11, 2012

Late Nights, Busy Days

I wish I could tell you that the beginning of my fourth year is everything I hoped it would be and more. I wish I could tell you that I'm feeling inspired and ready to conquer anything. But right now I'm feeling scared, nervous, anxious and all-around awkward. All I can think each day is that it's a day closer to the end. A day I lost not making enough connections or the right connections. And I don't necessarily mean in friends but in professors and references. I am freaking out.

Am I saying the right thing? Am I coming off too strong or more likely not strong enough? Will I actually be ready to apply to grad school in the next few months?

I'm missing that pizzaz in my life. That spunk. That all-around Dee-ness that makes me that crazy, organized, outgoing girl I am. I am still all of those things but I feel that I'm holding back. That I'm not shouting out to the world (professors) what I want to do after this year. It's hard! But I know I am on the right track.

I met with one of my professors after class today (the first time I have ever done such a thing) to talk about speaking in front of our entire class on a topic regarding families. I wanted to sit and chat about my experiences, where I've come from, what I want to do but all I could do was stare at the sun outside of his office, sip my tea and think about how utterly boiling I was wearing a jacket and pants in 24 degree weather. I literally told him three times that I would be back next week with my write up to rehearse with him. The only saving grace was that he seemed just as awkward as I did but I blame it on his current cold and superior intelligence.

One thing I did realize today that staying up until 3am the night before a 13 hour day of class, work and meetings only makes me tired and see above - not my usual Dee-self. That I don't communicate well past 12:00am and that I might be more focused with pen to paper instead of finger to keyboard.

Saturday, September 8, 2012

A World Record

Every year the University of Guelph tries to break a world record. Sometimes it might be the number of people "graffitiing" at the same time, the most people playing air guitar or the most people using sign language at the same time. This year, the entire University of Guelph community got together to break the record of most rations packed in one hour. A pretty great use of only one hour, I'd say. Together, in the newest field house on campus, we managed to pack over 300,000 rations to be sent to Mauritania in West Africa. It was a huge success and we had such a great time too. After some technical difficulties with one of our sealers we still managed to pack a TON of boxes full of rations. 

Thursday, September 6, 2012

First Day of Class

Today I embarked on my last first day of undergraduate class. Scary to think, right? I had a few meetings in the morning and it was scary introducing myself as a fourth year and how much people like to think you have your life sorted out as soon as you enter your last year. I mean I'd say I'm a pretty figured-out type of person, but this whole last year business is freaking me out. All that last year stuff aside - as most of you know I take school pretty seriously, as in I love it more than anything. I've grown up with that mentality of always putting your best foot forward thanks to my Mom. So every year from preschool to this morning, I always wake up extra early and put together a perfect back to school outfit. In first year we joked that this was my first day of school outfit, however I just forgot to take a picture of the actual one. In third year, it must have been a bit chillier because I wore pants and a jean jacket. Today I opted for a dress because there won't be much time left to justify wearing one without tights. 

I actually wore this exact outfit on a date with my friend, Colleen this summer and loved it so much that it was the first thing that came to mind when I thought of back to school. Today I am off to three different classes: cognitive development, social and personality development and learning disabilities. 

I spent last night laughing, chatting, discussing all important life topics and gossip with the roommates and getting my planner ready for the school year. I hope that you can tell that I am SUPER excited about it and just want to write in it whenever I can. I was a bit nervous about fitting everything I needed to get done or remember in those smallish boxes on each day but I was saved by post-it notes! I just happened to have the perfect size post-it notes in my desk ready to go. It was just meant to be. 

Wednesday, September 5, 2012

Final Year

Tomorrow I start my final year at the University of Guelph. My final year of undergrad. My final year living with my 5 best friends. It's been such an adventure moving away from home, slowly creating a little life of my own and learning so much. Three years ago I was moving into my little residence room with my parents and I smushed in a car.  But it's so exciting to think of this year as my grand finale. The big ra-ra year. So here's to constant positivity and never dwelling on the bad. Here's to making memories and still having the time to do so. Here's to the best school that changed my life and to the all the people that have been apart of it. I cannot wait to make this year the best one yet. 

Tuesday, September 4, 2012

Pub Night

We spent our first night of our fourth year at a brand new local pub in Guelph. It's about a 15 minute or so walk from our house which was perfect on a summer/fall night like lasts. It was a perfect time. We got to pour our own beer, try all 8 different kinds and had the upstairs to ourselves. We made up our own games to play, which always turn out to be the best anyways. We reminisced and caught up. We had that girl talk we were missing and that shrill laughter that could not be contained any longer. I cannot believe this is my last year already, my last September to spend with these wonderful girls, my last time. But it's going to be the best one yet and we are going to make the best of each and every moment. 

Monday, September 3, 2012

You don't need a vacation when there's nothing to escape from

I'm off to brunch with some lovely friends I have not seen in months. Looking forward to some sandwiches and tea. See you on the flip side! 

Saturday, September 1, 2012

Life Lately

1. I like to live life on the edge and feel that risky-ness of driving my car until it's completely out of gas. 
2. Ryan and I enjoying a quiet Sunday drinking wine and relaxing.
3. Getting end-of-camp gifts ready for staff.
4. My fortune cookie is so smart. 
5. Playing a viking yard game with some of the bestest buds. 
6. Sally's home for the next few months. Long story but she won't be coming to school with me this year. 
7. My first list as part of the 30 Days of Lists happening this September
8. Spent the day with my Dad and topped it off with a great dinner date. 

Thursday, August 30, 2012


Tonight I got a new haircut. Those were the days when you would travel to the salon in toe with mom to get that spiffy back-to-school-cut that made you feel so new and so ready to start a new year. I like to continue that tradition and get a new cut before I head back to class. Since I'm still working on growing this mane out, I opted for some brand new bangs. I hated them while they were in the process of being cut right in front of my eyes (no pun intended). So I headed home and dealt with them, moved them around a bit and realized I kinda, sorta, maybe like them. Then my dinner consisted of everything chickpeas. Yum.